Tips for helping a loved one

If there’s a man in your life who you suspect has difficulties with their mental wellbeing, there are some practical steps you can take to help him, including the following.

Look out for symptoms

The symptoms of depression in men and women include:

• Saying that they feel very sad, empty or hopeless

• Extreme tiredness

• Problems sleeping or sleeping too much

• Lack of pleasure from activities they normally enjoy (3)

The symptoms of anxiety in men and women include:

• Seeming very nervous, restless or tense

• Tiredness and trouble sleeping

• Trouble concentrating

• Rapid breathing, sweating and trembling

• Digestive issues

When it comes to depression, there can be some additional signs in men which might be subtler than those listed above, such as:

• Spending more time at work or immersed in hobbies like sports, as an escape

• Drinking more alcohol or taking drugs

• Irritability and outbursts of anger

• Violent or abusive behavior

• Risk-taking behavior's, such as reckless driving

• Physical symptoms like headaches and digestive problems

Start a conversation

Talking to a loved one about their mental health is never easy, but it’s a necessary step if his behavior is causing you concern. You could tell him you’ve noticed some changes and that you’re worried, or simply ask him if he’s OK. Remind him that you love him and that you’re there whenever he wants to talk.

Keep in mind that there’s a good chance this initial conversation won’t be productive – he may refuse to talk deny that there’s a problem, or even become angry or upset. This may be frustrating and worrying, but it’s important not to pile on the pressure to speak if he’s not ready. Just knowing he has your support will likely make a difference, and encourage him to talk in the future.

Explain what kinds of help are available

Look for encouragement from the right sources

Lots of men will struggle to take that first step, such as booking an appointment with their psychologist/therapist

Give them equal amounts of support and space

If your loved one chooses to get help, make sure he knows he has your support – whether it’s in booking and attending GP appointments, arranging therapy, or taking his medication.

It’s also important to understand that he will need his privacy. For example, if he has to do therapy from home over a video call, make sure he has a private space where he can speak without fear of being overheard.

Encourage healthy lifestyle changes

Sometimes mental health difficulties can’t be cured by lifestyle changes alone, but they can make a big difference. The best way to help your loved one get better is to participate in these changes with him. You could start taking walks, do more home cooking together, or make a joint pact to cut back on alcohol.

Get emergency help if they become suicidal

Even with support, people with mental health problems can be at risk of suicide. If you’re concerned that your loved one is thinking of taking his life, make sure you get emergency help by calling 999 or finding his friend/loved one to talk to him

Look after yourself

It should go without saying, but your mental health is important too. Putting all of your energy into looking after someone you care about can take a toll on your mind and body. Make sure you’re looking after your health and making time for your friends, family and hobbies.

It can also be helpful to seek out therapy or counselling, for yourself.